A Storyeth For Storyeth Time's Sake

Once upon a dime, there lived a coin. This was no ordinary coin, either. This coin was worth $0.98. Said coin was a very complex character. She had eight-and-a-quarter friends. One of the coin's friends was a righteous cheesecake. The righteous cheesecake loved to leap from carpet to carpet. So, one day, the righteous cheesecake met a carpenter. He was absolutely thrilled to meet the carpenter. But, there was one problem: the carpenter was not thrilled to meet the chewing gum. The carpenter flipped his hair and said to the chewing gum, "OMG, you are SUCH a dried-up lawnmower." The chewing gum took great offense to this and retorted, "Well YOU are such a considerate potato!" And the argument raged on. All of a sudden, a magical nostril began to do cartwheels and backflips. But then, the magical nostril started to float away! The worst problem is, everybody's favorite superheroes, Hans and Franz, were on break! Who could save the magical nostril now?!?! "I'll save you, O Mighty Lord Magical Nostril!" cried a ferocious and heroic mosquito. The mosquito leaped into action and threw the letter "three" at a balloon. The magical nostril was returned to the castle and every law was rewritten. "Three" is now a letter, the carpenter and the chewing gum stopped arguing, the coin and the cheesecake got married, the Bat Mobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away. Oh, and the heroic mosquito saved the day. "But wait, there's more!" shouted THE FACE. "This Storyeth is not over yet, dear audience! HEE HEE HEE!" Little Simon did a beautiful drawing. In Little Simon's drawing, Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III lived in a pineapple under the sea. Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior was absorbent and yellow and porous. Michael Jordan dropped on the deck and flopped like a fish. (Because nautical nonsense was something he wished.) And then, a short chimpanzee drew a picture of a painting of a sculpture of a song about a dance that looked somewhat like synchronized swimming. And everyone lived happily ever after. THE END.

My Awesome (Fake) Resume!!!

Azhneen Amaya

2121 You Don’t Say! Street TheGame, NY 81452 (707) 707-7007 bobeatspie@yourmom.com

EXPERIENCE Washing Machine Inc., Chicago IL, I put doors on washing machines!!! LIKE A BOSS!!! Time Inc., Chicago, IL— Day Counter(I counted days. As they went by.) Author, Chicago, IL — Storyeth Writer EDUCATION Bright Horizons Preschool, Chicago, IL — Graduated. LIKE A BOSS!!! LALALALALA Middle School, Chicago, IL — Seventh Grade PROJECTS Book Report Project, Sixth Grade — I wrote poems. About a book. The book was “Totally Joe”. I win.

SKILLS Mixed Martial Arts Storyeth Writing Eating Pie Eating Brownies Eating Spinach Eating in General Sleeping Living AWARDS Voted Most Likely To Save The Environment in 6th Grade Award For Completion of All 6th Grade Book Reports Merit Roll LANGUAGES English, and I’m working on Spanish, thank you very much. (Muchos gracias)

Allow Me To Explain...

So. You probably noticed some things about the letter to Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III. You may have a few questions. So allow me to explain...

First of all, who is Azhneen Amaya?

Azhneen Amaya is a fake name I made up. Azhneen is my nickname. (You pronounce the "zh" like a soft "j" or an "sh" but with your voice.) It is how you pronounce the sentence, "I am a ninja." backwards...Yes. I speak backwards. 

Where did I come up with the random numbers?

Well, 707 is LOL upside-down. Also, don't call the number I listed. I don't know whose it is... 81452 are the angle numbers in a Kali(Filipino type of martial arts involving sticks and knives) sequence, the Full Sombrada. 

Is that a real email and place?

I don't think it's a real email. Don't email that address just in case. And I don't think TheGame, Ny 81452 is a real place. If it is...well I'll be darned.

Why did I write this letter in the first place?

I want to know if you guys want to see Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior appear in following Storyeths!

Let me know in the comments if you want Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior to make appearances! Also let me know if you have any more questions!

A Letter To Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III

Azhneen Amaya Your Creator ㅡ Azhneen Amaya 2121 You Don’t Say! St TheGame, NY 81452 707.707.7007 bobeatspie@yourmom.com

8 SEPTEMBER 20XV Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III Unemployed 21 Storyeth Ave. Tasty, Storyeth Land 70007 Dear Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III, I am writing this letter for a few reasons. One of which is to thank you for your patronage in my Storyeths. You have been a true credit to them. Everyone loves your appearances. My question is: Do you think it would be a good idea to have your younger brother in my Storyeths? I think my readers would love to hear all about Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior. Pass on to your brother that I am willing to offer a large sum of money, or soda-pop, whichever he is more interested in, if he makes appearances in future Storyeths. I know how fond he is of Root Beer. Maybe I would be willing to throw in a bonus pair of overalls, or a new feather hat. Tell him to consider my offer. I am also writing to pass along a very important message from your friend Salad, the walrus. She is inviting you to a tea party at her basket. It is on September 12, 2019. She hopes you will be there. Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior, THE FACE, Little Simon, and Harry the Potter will all be attending. Last of all, I would like to interest you in a new outfit. A pair of overalls is too similar to your brother’s style. You should wear something that screams you! I was thinking maybe a tuxedo. And I know how much you love your feather hat, so I’ll let you keep that. But if you continue to wear your overalls, readers will think that your brother is copying you, and that I have gotten less creative. I personally think that both of you should wear feather hats. The feather in your hat is purple, and I was thinking that Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior would wear a hat with a pink feather, but I’m not entirely sure about that idea. Send me you and your brother’s opinions on the matter. Thanks again! Sincerely, Azhneen Amaya

This Storyeth Is The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread! Part 2!!! (Merry Halloween!)

Hello, reader. Unfortunately, I do not have any dramatic music. But I'm sure you can think up or remember some. So you go ahead and do that while there is an epic flashback in black and white that speeds up and slows down occasionally. Until you get to the part after Jebediah, who is still in Australia, gasps.

       ...Well, maybe you don't remember that. In any case, here's the last thing that happened: "It took them 21.2121212121212121212121212121212121 seconds to get to Mars. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III wanted to make a good impression among the Martians, so he put on a clean pair of overalls. Nobody wore space helmets because in the Storyeth world, living things do not need oxygen to survive. The king of Mars came to greet the visitors. "Welcome to Mars. I am the king, Bruno Mars!" Gasp! Everyone was in disbelief! Even Stefon! Even Salad's basket! Even Jebediah, who was still in Australia!"...

      "Wow. It must be a great honor to be Bruno Mars!" exclaimed Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III. THE FACE said, "No, I think it's a bigger honor to be the king of Mars!" Bruno Mars said, "That's all very nice, but Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III, I've got one question for you." "Yes?" Bruno Mars did a cartwheel, a back flip, then a triple front flip then pointed to Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III's shoes. "WHAT ARE THOSE????????" His shoes were glass slippers. His left shoe had a pink post-it note in it. His right shoe had a green post-it note in it. "Oh, these?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III blushed. "These are my lovely little shoes. They have my pet post-it notes in them. The pink one's name is Pinky, and the green one's name is Bluey. Do you like my shoes??" "No," said Bruno Mars. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III started to bawl. "But I think they're fabulous!" Salad the Walrus said, "Well, Bruno, that wasn't very nice!" Then Bruno Mars explained. "I don't LIKE them. I LOVE them!!!" "Really?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III sniffled. "Of course! They're great! Where can I get a pair?" "I know where you can get a pair!" piped up Harry the Potter. "You can get them at Best Buy!" "I think I'll go get me some. Hope you enjoyed your stay on Mars!" "Time to leave already?" Asked Simon who was in his bathtub. "Let me just finish up this drawing." The companions waited until Simon finished his drawing to get back in the spaceship. Colonel Pinobscott took them back to their home planet. On the ride back, Salad saw a gray kitten with the body of a pop tart with rainbows following it. It was beautiful. 

     When they got back, it was Halloween! Simon dressed up as Salad. Salad dressed up as Harry the Potter. Harry the Potter dressed up as Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III dressed up as THE FACE, who dressed up as Simon. They all went trick-or-treating together and got lots of candy. Salad got her basket some candy, too. And they all lived crazily ever after.

     ..,So that's the Storyeth that is the best thing since sliced bread. Meanwhile, I just wrote Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III a letter...

Back to School

I understand that a lot of my viewers, and myself as well, recently went back to school. I just wanted to post this meme:




Beautiful, right? Muy, MUY hermoso.

So, students, don't turn your teacher into the "Y U NO" guy. Bring a pencil. Or a pen. Be prepared.

Have fun learning!

A Friendly Reminder

Hey, everyone!I just wanted to remind you of The Game! YOU LOST. YOU'RE WELCOME. I KNOW THAT I AM EVIL. >:D