A Storyeth For Storyeth Time's Sake

Once upon a dime, there lived a coin. This was no ordinary coin, either. This coin was worth $0.98. Said coin was a very complex character. She had eight-and-a-quarter friends. One of the coin's friends was a righteous cheesecake. The righteous cheesecake loved to leap from carpet to carpet. So, one day, the righteous cheesecake met a carpenter. He was absolutely thrilled to meet the carpenter. But, there was one problem: the carpenter was not thrilled to meet the chewing gum. The carpenter flipped his hair and said to the chewing gum, "OMG, you are SUCH a dried-up lawnmower." The chewing gum took great offense to this and retorted, "Well YOU are such a considerate potato!" And the argument raged on. All of a sudden, a magical nostril began to do cartwheels and backflips. But then, the magical nostril started to float away! The worst problem is, everybody's favorite superheroes, Hans and Franz, were on break! Who could save the magical nostril now?!?! "I'll save you, O Mighty Lord Magical Nostril!" cried a ferocious and heroic mosquito. The mosquito leaped into action and threw the letter "three" at a balloon. The magical nostril was returned to the castle and every law was rewritten. "Three" is now a letter, the carpenter and the chewing gum stopped arguing, the coin and the cheesecake got married, the Bat Mobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away. Oh, and the heroic mosquito saved the day. "But wait, there's more!" shouted THE FACE. "This Storyeth is not over yet, dear audience! HEE HEE HEE!" Little Simon did a beautiful drawing. In Little Simon's drawing, Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III lived in a pineapple under the sea. Uncle Philly Willy Bobby Billy Buffalo McGee Junior was absorbent and yellow and porous. Michael Jordan dropped on the deck and flopped like a fish. (Because nautical nonsense was something he wished.) And then, a short chimpanzee drew a picture of a painting of a sculpture of a song about a dance that looked somewhat like synchronized swimming. And everyone lived happily ever after. THE END.