There was once a poodle who liked strawberry ice cream. The poodle lived in a school. The principal of the school was a sticky banshee. When the poodle got to her house (the school), she went into her bedroom, which is the cafeteria. The poodle and the banshee are best friends, so when the banshee saw the poodle come in, she said, "Oh, joyous day, joyous day! My best friend has come home!" The poodle sang a song, which was one of her favorite things to do. The banshee applauded. "Brava! Brava! Wonderful performance!" All of a sudden, Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III came rushing in. He was accompanied by THE FACE and Li'l Simon. Simon was in his bathtub, as per usual. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III was crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the poodle. Through his tears, he replied, "I have six tickets to go to Mars, but I only have three people!" "Mars! I would love to go, if you don't mind!" piped up the poodle. "I do not wish to venture to Mars. Outer space has bad effects on banshees," said the principal. "Really?" said Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III. "That's terrific! But I still need two more people." THE FACE said, "Yo, UBBJJJJIII? I got an idea." THE FACE held his breath for 20 seconds, as that was the signal. Hans and Franz appeared and said, "We want to pump--" they reverse-clapped, "you down! Now why are you distressed?" THE FACE said, "UBBJJJJIII, Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III, you know, has six tickets to go to Mars, and so far, we only have four people. You guys wanna join us?" "We're sorry, but we have to go around the world and appear in front of distressed people and help them. We do not get breaks." Hans and Franz disappeared. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III sobbed. THE FACE said, "It's okay. Fuggedaboutit. We'll find someone else. Okay?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III nodded glumly. "Yo, UBBJJJJIII, why don't we invite Salad?" "Gee, that's a GREAT idea!" said Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III, perking up. The gang went to Salad the Walrus' house, which was her beloved basket. THE FACE knocked on the lid. Salad came out. "Why, hello there!" she hooted. "What a pleasant surprise!" THE FACE said, "Would you like to go with us to Mars?" "Why, that would be delightful!" responded Salad. "May I bring along a friend?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III said, "Oh, yes! We need one more person anyway. Who are you bringing along?" "My good buddy Harry!" Everyone followed Salad to find Harry. They went into Harry's Pottery. "Harry? Yoo hoo!" called Salad. Harry came out and said, "Oh boy, customers! Welcome to Harry's Pottery! Finest pottery around! My name is Harry. How can I help you?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III asked, "Would you like to come along with us to Mars?" Salad had a hopeful look on her face. "Yes, I would love to come!" said Harry the Potter. "WAIT!!!" shouted Salad. "I need someone to watch over my basket while I'm gone!" Simon, who had been quiet before, now chimed in, "I know someone who could watch over your basket." "Oh, goody! Who is it?" Simon and his bathtub teleported to New York City. Simon went to his friend, Stefon. Simon asked Stefon the favor, and Stefon gladly obliged. Stefon teleported to Salad's basket. "Wow!" Stefon exclaimed. "This place has everything!" Simon teleported back to his friends. "Done," he said. "Do you want to see a drawing of the situation? Do you?" Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III said, "Thanks, but no thanks, Simon. We've got no time to lose! Onward!" Everyone dashed to the spaceship. Simon teleported the bunch inside. "You're right on time!" said Colonel Pinobscott, who was flying them to Mars. It took them 21.2121212121212121212121212121212121 seconds to get to Mars. Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III wanted to make a good impression among the Martians, so he put on a clean pair of overalls. Nobody wore space helmets because in the Storyeth world, living things do not need oxygen to survive. The king of Mars came to greet the visitors. "Welcome to Mars. I am the king, Bruno Mars!" Gasp! Everyone was in disbelief! Even Stefon! Even Salad's basket! Even Jebediah, who was still in Australia!
Stay tuned for the next Storyeth to find out what happens next in this nonsensical unpredictable world!
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Monday, August 31, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Guardians of The Forest: Rough Prologue
Prologue
“But there is only so much the Book can tell you,” perceived Sage from the Teacher. She was bewildered at its statement. “B-but I thought--” stammered Sage. “I thought that the Book had all of the information and knowledge that anyone could ever need! It is honest and good and you even said before that it taught you, Teacher!” The Teacher said, “Yes. You are correct that it is honest and good and that it even taught me. But its pages change depending on who reads it. And you were also incorrect when you said that it has all of the information and knowledge that anyone could ever need. Yes, the Book contains all of the spells ever imagined. And it can even tell you your destiny. But it lacks two very important things.” Sage’s eyes grew wider every word that the Teacher spoke. She was determined to be a good listener and to show the Teacher that she was ready for the challenge that faced her.
“One important thing that the Book lacks is experience; There are some things that cannot be taught to you in a book nor by another being. You must experience such things by yourself.” “What are such things?” whispered Sage, awestruck. Always when talking with the Teacher, Sage was amazed by Its awesome might and wisdom. “Adventure, fear, courage, friendship. But most importantly, love.” Sage pondered on that for a moment. The Teacher didn’t seem like It had anything else to say about experience, Sage asked, “What other very important thing does the Book lack?” The Teacher responded, “When I was a pupil, and my teacher was the Writer, I asked many questions about the book. Just like you,” It chuckled. “One question I asked when the Writer was still writing the Book was if everything in the Book was to be true. The Writer told me that for every pupil who was ever to set eyes on the Book, it would purposefully leave out one important detail in their story.” Sensing Sage’s next question, the Teacher said, “The Writer did this so that each student would understand the importance of experience, forcing them to gain wisdom from experience.”
“How will I know what’s missing in the Book in my story?” asked Sage. “You will not know until the event that has the missing, or perhaps false, information in it occurs.” Sage thought for a while. Then she said, “That’s scary. What if it’s a really important event? You know you can trust the Book on almost everything in your life, but there is one faulty or missing detail that could be really crucial. Since you don’t know what part of your life will be missing or wrong, you will trust everything in the Book; You will have a false sense of security! Then when you experience the event that was said inaccurately in the Book, it could be all over for you!”
“I fear that may happen to you, Sage. And I have good reason to.”
So Sorry
Hey, guys and gals! I am so sorry that I haven't posted a Storyeth for July. I am also sorry that I have practically abandoned my blog for the past month. This is because I've been really busy; on vacation and moving and busy with martial arts, all of which was out of my control.
I have some good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad news because otherwise the good news wouldn't make any sense, Storyeth-style. The bad news is that I am testing for my black belt this year, so I have been practicing and training really hard, and I will still have to devote some more time to martial arts. Storyeths are now going to have to come out every two to three months. But the good news is that I am also working on a BIIIIIIIG project. I have ambitions to write a book! This book won't be a Book o' Storyeths, but it will be an exciting book with adventure, surprises, romance, and death! So far it is coming along great, and I think the title will be Guardians of the Forest. I will post the prologue here. I'm sure it will hook you in and grab your attention!
I have some good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad news because otherwise the good news wouldn't make any sense, Storyeth-style. The bad news is that I am testing for my black belt this year, so I have been practicing and training really hard, and I will still have to devote some more time to martial arts. Storyeths are now going to have to come out every two to three months. But the good news is that I am also working on a BIIIIIIIG project. I have ambitions to write a book! This book won't be a Book o' Storyeths, but it will be an exciting book with adventure, surprises, romance, and death! So far it is coming along great, and I think the title will be Guardians of the Forest. I will post the prologue here. I'm sure it will hook you in and grab your attention!
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