APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY STORYETHS!!!‏

There was once a moose named Unmoose. Unmoose was a carefree young spirit who loved to write emails. He also loved to smell tires. Unmoose's best friend's name is Turtle. Turtle is a turtle. Turtle was sad. This is because he wanted so badly to wear a jacket, but he couldn't because all of the jackets he tried on were too happy for him. Turtle turned around. Unmoose was having a karaoke contest that day. Turtle was bad at singing, so he did not attend the contest. Instead, turtle went to school. He went into the science lab and picked up a magnifying glass. He threw it out of the window. That was a problem, though, because the science lab didn't have any windows. After Turtle realized that there weren't any windows, he opened the cabinet and found a bowl. It was a super bowl. There was a sandal in the bowl. Turtle took out a Clorox wipe from the sandal. He wiped the ceiling. The ceiling was then clean. Turtle said, "I would like some toothpaste. It really strikes my fancy." Turtle went to an airport. He found a tomato. He took the tomato to his eighth-favorite hat. Turtle lifted up the hat and walked down the stairs, under the hat. He placed the tomato beside his piano. He took the elevator back up. When he got up, he looked both ways to make sure nobody was watching, and then he turned into a 6-year-old man whose beard defied gravity. Turtle then went to JC Penney's. He bought a jacket and wore it forever. The cashier who helped him purchase the jacket was a lizard who liked to eat bananas. He ate oranges every single day, for every meal. He even wore a blue shirt. He wanted a poster. If the lizard was a good girl, he could get one for the holidays. But he was a boy, and that was a problem. "Oh well," thought the lizard. The lizard decided to go for a stroll. He wanted to go to Puerto Rico, so he casually walked there. When he got there, he met a polar bear. The polar bear ate a ninja. The ninja's name was Teddy. Before he was devoured, Teddy liked to draw. He only drew with the color yellow. Teddy was sad. That was because he didn't want to get eaten. And so he said, "By the power of feathered striped foxes!" Then he popped out of the polar bear. Said the ninja, "Top of the morning, polar bear! But please, would you mind not eating me again?" "Okay," said the polar bear. Teddy walked away. He did not realize, yet, that his left hand was lemon-flavored. But, soon enough, as any sensible decent gorilla being would, he tested to see what his left hand tasted like. Teddy found that his hand tasted like strawberries. Teddy found a nickel on the sidewalk one day. He threw it as far as he could. A compassionate lemur caught the nickel and gently placed it under his tongue. He did not know what the square root of a guitar was, so he took the nickel and traded it for a diamond at Walgreens. Then the lemur went to McDonald's. At McDonald's, he saw Queen Elizabeth IV. She said, "FINGERNAIL." That was the magic word. The magic word, however, only works if a magical person says it. That is the only way the spell will work. Fortunately, Queen Elizabeth IV was a sorceress. The spell worked, and she had a paperclip in her pocket. She decided to try out another spell. After 18.748568365947659474938377777777777777777212121212121212121212121212121212121 seconds, though, Queen Elizabeth IV decided that the spell was not such a good idea. She did, however, eat a doughnut. Then she drew a polygon on the wall of McDonald's. The polygon was a 6-dimensional rectangle. Then, Uncle Billy Bobby Joseph Joey Jenkins Junior III read little Simon a bedtime story. THE END.